As a high school teacher it didn’t take me long long to realize that high school students say some pretty fantastic things. Funny, goofy, awkward, and so purely honest it’s often hard to hold back a chuckle or even a full bellied laugh. These comments are nuggets of gold that can turn a rough day around for me.
Like anyone would do with such a nugget I collect them. These days I jot them down on a scrap of paper and stick them in a pile in a desk drawer to save for when the time is right. However, when I was student teaching 4 years ago, seems like only a blink, I didn’t have my own desk. So these slips ended up stuffed in a pocket and then onto my desk in my college dorm room, and eventually into a box as I hastily packed after graduation.
3 years later I am in the midst of a move going through old boxes. I stumbled upon a mash of old faded paper scraps holding scribbled notes ready to be set free on the world. So, I present you with a handful of treasures from the mouths of students of the class of 2011, freshman at the time, many who will be moving into their own college dorm rooms over the next few weeks.
“I did my homework… I just forgot to write it down.”
“Chicken’s are birds?”
“You know the Hurricane Tracker, I’m like the cell tracker.”
“Ms. [Smith], I’m done! I also just threw up in my mouth for some reason.”
“He’s like real gangsta though”
“Mr. Reid, are you more afraid of Zombies or Vampires?”
Some I remember the context, others I don’t, most of the time it really doesn’t matter. (clearly zombies…fyi)
Is This Science? 
I say Vampires the reasoning is that you can clearly see a Zombie coming at you “oh shit thats a bunch of Zombies, better go a different way!” While Vampires can turn into bats, “Oh no whats that?!?! Oh that’s just a bat, close call I can just continue on my journey. OH NO THAT BAT TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE! DAMNIT IT SUCKED MY BLOOD! Fuck………….now I sparkle.”
Clearly Vampires are way worse.
That’s what I’m doing this year! I’m going to carry a tiny notebook around to my classes and write down/sketch whatever happens so I can write them down in my journal when I get home and look back on the event when I’m older. It’s nice to read something from the point of a teacher who enjoys teaching. The teachers I’ve had are amazing and I’ve learned so much from them, not just stuff that related to the curriculum. I kind of wish that all of my teachers had blogs and I could read what they were thinking. I PROBABLY SOUND SO CREEPY NOW.
I died laughing at the chicken quote. I remember one day in math class, my teacher was ranting about her life and this one kid asks her about 2012. Then she started ranting about how that movie was just horrible and that we won’t die. I also remember this one time when this girl legitimately thought Japan was one of the 13 original colonies.